I've noticed a few people in the OSR being open about their anxiety, stress and mental health, I figured it's about time I do the same.
I've been dealing with a lot, and I've been holding it in until it breaks, that's not a good idea.
From an outward appearance you'd think I was a happy go lucky guy right? (well other than in the winter, which i"m pretty sure I suffer from a bit of SAD).
After a recent breakdown, I started really trying to put things in perspective and to write things down (journal if you will) and it helps.
This whole depression has been on and off for awhile now. I think it really started to hit me about 2 years ago. (thanks almost mid life crisis! I appreciate being down). 90% of it comes from my work situation. It is the top the thing I need to change to get on with my life. Obviously there's a pile of fear and anxiety that go along with that. There are seriously whole days where I procrastinate and just sit at my computer.
As time has gone on,by the time I get home I'm so friggin bagged that I can't pick up a pen to draw or write in the evening. Let alone my guitar. I've even started to pull back "outings", my current D&D group, band practice, doing things on the weekend. These are not good things.
Plus I've had a few panic attacks in the last few years, mostly while driving (yeah that's fucking scary isn't it?).
After my last breakdown, which was about two weeks ago, I finally decided
"Fuck it I'm going to see a therapist"
I finally went the other day, and it was wonderful. I'm not on meds yet, I actually wouldn't mind being on them for a bit, I guess we will see.
In the meantime I'm working thru it.