That said, human guards are boring. In Port blacksand, Lord azzur has hired ogres as gate guards. Orcs fill it the ranks of the city guard.
Here's a few different guards
1. A sluggish giant leaning against the wall, his club blocks the gate.
2. A chain of five skeletons, the centre one has a magic mouth spell.
3. The actual gate is a wood golem.
4. A talking wyvern (which is always hungry), it needs to sniff all the bags for food.
5. A large cat, who sun's itself and bathes. Scratches behind the ear, will get it to move. Alternatively some kind of red dot illusion.
6. A gnome who insists that anyone wishing to enter must beat it at a game of cards.
7. The gate is a giant maw, it spits acid. The wall is a living thing. Or at least it seems that way.
8. A talking barrel, that will only open the gate, provided that all weapons go into the barrel.
9. An old orc with short term memory loss. He will forget the reasons for entry request, whether or not the toll has been paid. Unfortunately he is the only guard.
10. There is no gate, only a length of rope. Whenever anyone attempts to climb it, it will lower the person back to the ground. To circumvent this, the rope must be tied into knots every few feet.
11. There are two gates, in front of the main wood gate is a large stone archway. Anyone passing thru of evil alignment will not be allowed to gain access. (or good, if it's that kinda town).
12. Two horses stand on opposite sides of the entrance. They are hooked up to large ropes. They will not budge unless fed delicious apples. There is a tree nearby, however the fruit is very high off the ground.
Image: https://www.oldbookillustrations.com/illustrations/horn-blown/
David Brin has a great guardian in his novel The Uplift War. A door has a laser in the keystone. When someone approaches, it fires at their foot.
ReplyDeleteThe hero watches the laser keystone drive off the bad guys, who do this crazy fleeing dance to get away from the laser. He realizes that people can't dodge lasers, so the weapon is deliberately missing. He's able to walk right on in by ignoring the weapon.
Oh that's genuis Phil. I wonder if a crossbow or arrow would do the same trick in a fantasy game. I'll see if I can find that book. Super cool.
DeleteThese are so amazingly good. Mouth-wateringly good. Did you think them up?
ReplyDeleteI like the idea of ogres. They could chatter to each other in Chaotic and wear enormous tabbards with the town heraldry.
Thanks! I came up with them whilst having morning coffee. Might do a few more. Love the idea of the ogre talking amongst themselves. Blacksand is an interesting place!
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