Monday, July 29, 2019

I had to walk a mile for a vile pile of bile (monday night miserable bastards session 11)

Oh wow was that a fun session. I missed the previous session due to some work commitments. It appears that after today we will be taking a bit of a break until the start of September which is totally cool with me. Anyways here's Skord's take on what happened.

Day 11 in this forsaken forest.
We have entered the northmen's dungeon. Above the door scrawled were the words 

“Only the Hopeless Enter Here”.

(Whoever lives here, has a sick sense of humour.)

We walked down the hallway into the dungeon, and found a room at the end, carefully walking past a pit trap. It appeared there was a fan blade of sorts in the room. It was a circular room, the fan was not turning. Kojack carefully went into the room, sneaking around and checking things out.

Armand went back to check out the pit trap, I slung him down with some rope and spikes. At the bottom appeared to be a few dead bodies. He searched around, but was unable to find any exits from the trap. From the light of my torch, I swore I saw something glint at the bottom. I turned to look up to see how kojack was faring, and I heard a big click! and then a scream.

I hauled up Armand, and went to check on kojack who was being tended to by the cleric Rather. We discussed how to move forward, and decided to attempt to turn the large scary razor circular thing the other way. With a bit of elbow grease we managed to get it to stay in place with another more satisfying click. We shuffled thru the room carefully.

kojack went first into the room beyond, it was very large with hanging rafters, and a set of stone steps. Upon the steps was a stone grotesque creature that was very large.

On the rafters were smaller stone creatures. That crazy dwarf went up to check them out, and decided to putt one off with his warhammer.

Not thinking at first, I thought I'd try and catch it. I quickly realized this thing was heavy! How the hell did that dwarf putt it off the rafters is beyond me. The cleric realized that the stone statue was made from hell stone, literal stone from the abyss.  After that Kojack decided to drink down one of Hugo's special healing potions. I guess those don't always work, because the dwarf cursed at the sky "fuck you hugo!"

We decided to get out of this room, in case we woke anything up! (i.e. fuck that room).

Further down the tunnel, we came upon a room with a set of stairs leading down. Above the stairwell was written.

“hell is empty, all the devils are here” 

(seriously who comes up with this stuff).  

Just as we are deciding what we will do, the floor starts to cave in. We quickly run down the stairs, hearing a loud boom.  

Alright so we maybe trapped down here. Press on. 

We wandered around for a bit, and around one corner this super tall and very ugly green thing is snarling at us. It's holding a 6 foot elephant tusk menacingly. Only a few of us could get close to it for melee, I pulled out my sling and started chucking silver stones at it. One hit and it oozed a pile of bile (I believe green, but it was the heat of the battle so I don't know).

In the middle of the battle our trusty warrior armand fell to the beast, he lay unconscious on the floor, bleeding profusely. Thankfully we were able to kill the beast, but not before it spewed bile from its guts all over armand. Thankfully our trusty cleric Rathgar was able to heal him. Looting thru his body, that dwarf found some more Viz!

We found a very suspect tomb, and decided it wasn't worth walking into. The last room we found (after we found a set of keys to it) contained a dark dwarf. He wanted to talk. (I wanted to kill him). The dwarf took the lead and spoke with him. He brought mysterious tidings, as if he knew we were coming. He asked the dwarf if he was Durbin's brother (a dwarf we met early who guided us to this place. I may wring his neck if we get out of here). He was not related. The dark dwarf pulled on his pipe and shared it with a few of us. It was then we noticed the dark hole in the centre of the room. More word's were exchanged, and we started to grow tired of this guy. Then a low growl emitted from the hole, and something in the deep started to move. I lashed out at the dark dwarf, and he vanished. The floor caved in.......

And that my friends is the end of this tale till September.

Our DM is Mr. Tim Shorts, you can find him here: 
his micro adventures here:

We are playing Old School Essentials. You can get it here:


  1. I want to throw out some evocative names of things that nobody has invented yet to see if people can come up with good items to go along with the names.

    Does that make sense?

    Where should I go to do that?

    1. That makes sense. I feel like this might be a interesting crowd post, possibly on mewe. That might be the easiest place to explain it.